1 year later
by Cgfan
Summary: Colby remembers the horror of the events of a year ago…


**This was for the One year later challenge at SaveColby on LJ.**

**Thanks to Mustangcandi LJ for Beta.**

**Spoilers:** 3.24 Janus List, 4.1Trust Metric,

Disclaimer: Numb3rs is not mine and that includes Colby (pouts), David, Megan, Don, Charlie, Alan, Larry, and Amita.

He woke up in a cold sweat struggling to breathe. He quickly sat up and looked around the room to see where he was once his eyes got adjusted to the darkness.

For a moment Colby thought he was in a cold dark 8x10 prison cell. He felt the coldness of the cell and heard the angry voices of his team - Don Eppes, Megan Reeves, and David Sinclair - in his head. He saw flashes of Don's anger in his eyes; Megan's hurt and confused expression on her face, and the furious look in David's eyes. Then he felt the beatings he received in prison when some prisoners managed to gang up on him and the guards didn't do anything to stop it. To make matters worse, he heard the angry cold voice of the one person that meant so much more to him than his life "It's all been a lie."

He tried to take a deep breath but he couldn't breathe. He started to panic because this brought back memories of the time he was being tortured with drugs by Lancer. That happened 8 months ago. He rubbed a hand on each arm. Feeling there was nothing there, he started to force on his breathing. He felt a gentle rubbing on his back and heard comforting words by his ear. "You're home and safe, Colbs. One breath at a time", whispered Hallie.

Leave it to Hallie to know what the nightmare was about. Colby didn't have to tell her anything. She just knew. With her encouraging words and gentle rubbing of his back, she helped him to get his breathing under control.

After what seemed like forever, Colby's breathing was back to normal. He turned his head left and their eyes met. He saw her - passionate, full of life, and happiness. He couldn't stop his mind from going back to that day a year ago today.

He saw hurt, sadness, and anger in those blue sparking eyes that he couldn't say "no" to. It was tearing him up inside to see Hallie crying for what he had done. Seeing Hallie receiving comfort from Megan was killing him inside. He never meant to put her in the middle of the whole thing or worse, hurt her.

Finally coming back to the present he reached over and kissed her lips. He rested his forehead on hers "I love you, Hallie". She said it back to him. The look in her eyes told Colby that she was going to be by his side throughout today.

He got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He splashed some cold water on his face and he caught a glance of himself in the mirror. Once again he tried to stop the flashback that wanted him to remember the horror of the events that happened to him a year ago today.

His life was going downhill fast and he didn't have any control of it. He didn't want the assignment but what he wanted didn't matter to them. He hated living his life the way he did for the past two years but he kept reminding himself of what his father once told him.

"Son, you come from five generations of duty, honor and following orders, no matter what."

He never meant to make friends but he did. He never meant to fall in love but he did. He couldn't stop life from happening which made the undercover assignment harder with each passing day for him. He took it as a challenge and he worked through it.

Hearing noises in their bedroom brought him back to the present. He dried his face and made his way down the hall. He quietly opened the door and walked in. Seeing the sleeping form of his son brought warmth inside of him. He'd not even known about Robbie until five months ago, he thought as he gently kissed his son on his forehead and brushed his dirty brown hair off his face.

He doesn't regret working undercover to find a mole in the DOJ. He had a duty to complete in the assignment. He was given orders which he followed to the letter even though he didn't like what it was doing to him. He did the assignment with honor because deep down inside he knew that he was protecting people.

He only regrets two things. He regrets the nightmares he has and he regrets the day his son is going to ask about what happened.

The smell of coffee made him clear his mind from any thoughts. He whispered I love you to his sleeping son and made his way to the kitchen.

Colby stopped by the door and watched Hallie make the coffee. A year ago he thought it was over between them. The five weeks he spent in prison, the only thing that kept him sane was thinking about Hallie -the way her eyes sparkled and lit up, her laugh and her smile. Five weeks in living hell for him just because he had to get on Dwayne's good side again.

Colby wrapped his arms around Hallie's waist and smirked, "You are not allowed to drink coffee."

She started laughing and turned to face him. Colby saw the engagement ring on her necklace. He finally decided to ask her to marry him in March. He was so nervous that day but he still managed to shock everyone including Hallie. She was so surprised and hearing her say yes brought an unbelievable feeling to him.

Hallie was about to tell Colby something when she saw the shadow in his green eyes and the expression on his face. She knew that he was remembering what happened a year ago today. She tried to bring him back to the present but nothing seemed to work. Her heart started to ache because she hated seeing him go through this. Finally she reached down a grabbed his hand and placed it on her growing tummy. The moment his hand was on her belly the baby started kicking up a storm which made the shadow in Colby's eyes clear and brought him back to the present.

Colby laughed and in between his laughter he managed to say, "Even the baby knows what's going on".

Hallie placed her hands on Colby's face and their eyes met again. That moment Colby knew that Hallie understood what he is going through. All he could think of was thank God for Hallie.

A few hours later David, Don, Megan, Alan, Charlie, Amita and Larry came over for the little get to together. They were all sitting in the backyard clowning around and having a great time. Colby looked around at his friends that felt like family to him. Once again the horror of the events of a year ago today took over.

He betrayed his friends. For five weeks his friends had to believe that he was a traitor and that he lied to them. The looks on all their faces haunted him for those five weeks.

He thought he could never be on the team again but once again he was wrong. But he couldn't stop remembering the time in the interrogation room.

"Why did you do it", said Don firmly.

"How long have you been lying to us", said a flourise tone David.

Hearing David calling him a traitor and having his friend coming after him made him feel so numb.

"And what was that the other day on the bridge? You weren't trying to save Ashby, were you? You were trying to buy time for yourself." asked Megan.

Feeling something land on him brought Colby back to the present. He noticed all eyes were on him and he wondered how long they've been trying to get his attention.

Colby was about to say something when David stopped him. "Colby, we are here when you need us, no matter what."

Everyone all nodded in agreement.

For the first time in a long time Colby was actually looking forward to the future. He knew deep down that he was going be fine even with all the demons he had to fight but he didn't have to fight them by himself. He is no longer alone in life and he can finally be just one person - himself, all the time.

He will be an FBI agent 24\7. He will be a great father to his five year old son and to his unborn child. He will be the best husband to Hallie when they get married after the baby is born.

He knows that Dwayne and he have some unsolved issues but for now he is going be a great godfather to JC Carter. He hopes one day that he can tell his friend goodbye but right now he is just not ready.


End file.
